If You Do This At An Upstate Concert, You’re A Massive Jerk

I took my fiancée to a concert by one of my favorite artists last fall. We had decent seats on the third row of the balcony. A couple in the first row, two seats to the left, that had been chugging cocktails since the opening act got the bright idea to stand up. Immediately behind them was another couple who now couldn’t see the concert.

After craning their necks around the first-row couple for a few songs and obviously annoyed, they moved into the two empty seats directly in front of me and my fiancée. Then a few songs later, they stood up. Unfortunately, my betrothed and I didn’t have the luxury of seats open next to us. For the last half of the concert, all we could see was butt. It totally ruined the experience.

We’re all getting back to concerts since the pandemic. There's already a phenomenal lineup of acts coming to Upstate in 2023. I think people generally remember the basics of concert etiquette: no constant commentary, don’t livestream or record the whole thing on your phone, don’t slosh your full drink around. But apparently, there’s one rule of concert etiquette we’ve forgotten:

IF YOU ARE IN THE BALCONY OR MEZZANINE, DO NOT STAND DURING A CONCERT.

If you’re on the floor, go crazy. Short of Barry Manilow, Andrea Bocelli, or the Boston Pops, I can’t imagine a concert where you wouldn’t stand the whole time at floor level. But up in the cheap (cheap-ish, now) seats, I can’t move to see over you without sitting in my neighbor’s lap.

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“But Cameron, it’s not fair! Floor seats were $400 each and sold out in 14 seconds. Any ticket should give me the right to dance and do whatever I want.”

Look, I feel your pain. Post-COVID ticket prices are absolutely bonkers. You think I want to be in the balcony? This wasn’t my first choice, but I also have to keep National Grid in Gucci every month, so here I am.

“If you can’t see over me, you can stand up, too.”

Yeah, well I’m 6’2”. What if I don’t want to subject the next two rows behind me to the same inconsiderate punishment you’ve faced me with. And yeah, I technically could stand for a whole show, but not everyone physically can. Are those people just out of luck?

Unless the artist specifically tells the balcony crowd to stand up, just stay seated. Feel free to give a standing ovation at the end, but if there’s an encore sit back down. We didn't pay $100 to see your butt, no matter how many squats you may or may not do. The balcony thanks you for your consideration.