monkeys

“Take your stinking paws off of me you damn dirty Santa’s Hitching Post employee!”  That’s what a group of activist would have you believe three captive chimpanzees in Gloversville, NY, would say if they ever perfect that pill that allows apes to talk.

You think you know your pet, but do you *know* your pet? Would you, for example, say your guinea pig is a Betty or a Veronica? What's your iguana's opinion on repealing the Glass-Steagall Act? Most importantly, DO YOU EVEN KNOW YOUR FERRET'S MYERS-BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE????!! Is your pet ... an INTROVERT?

Humans may share DNA with monkeys, but, if this report out of Indonesia is any indication, our primate cousins couldn't care less.

There is rarely anything good that can come from a long night of mad science mixed with a half-naked booze hound, a couple of drunken monkeys and a late shift as a lab technician. Eh, maybe we’re just jealous.

Of course the big race is going on today, but that's not really my bag.  I'm going to Sunday dinner at my parent's house after work, so I'm sure that I'll be forced to watch it anyway, but what is really on my mind is telling off the boss.  Do you feel me?