At the Rock in Rio festival in Brazil, Pop music performer Katy Perry invited a fan to the stage, and the fan took advantage of her. This is wrong, so I've made a list of what someone should do, or what I would do, if Katy Perry invited me onstage. 


You may think that this woman had the right idea, but no, this is all wrong.

Please observe this list of what to do if Katy Perry invites you to the stage.

1. Pick your nose and grind, don't wipe, or rub, but grind your boogers into Katy Perry's scalp, she will be grossed out. Once Katy Perry is grossed out she will probably gasp, when she does that pick your nose again and flick a booger in her mouth. She may get angry at that, so the next step is to pick her nose and run away with your souvenir.

2. Wait until she is supposed to be singing a song, then take the mic away from her to make sure that she is actually singing.

3. Induce vomiting, vomit on Katy Perry.

4. Go G.G. Allin on her. Take off all of your clothes, poop on stage. She will run away, giving you the opportunity to take the microphone and beat yourself in the head with it until you bleed, then attack the audience.

5. Act like you're going to hug her, then pretend to trip and fall on Katy Perry. If she does not attempt to catch you, then you make her look like a jerk, if she catches you tell her that you are a dodge ball and that she has to throw you at the audience.

6. Pee in your pants, then lay down, on your back and insist that she change you.

7. Stink Palm. If you do not know what a 'Stink Palm' watch Mallrats, then tweet at Kevin Smith and ask him if I can be in Mallrats 2.

I don't like to think about Katy Perry for too long, so thats it.