Well, I went.

"50 Shades of Grey" was quite an experience. I felt like I was in a foreign land where not only did I not speak the language, I felt lost and scared. We got there nice and early (mostly due to my wife's enthusiasm) and I completely enjoyed the people watching. There were mostly 40-something women, some in pairs, others in much larger groups and it had the feeling of being at a PTA meeting or a book club. A few women walked in with their man in tow, a few seemed to be by themselves, and then there was the one creepy guy sitting in the back corner all by himself. Maybe he was a huge fan of the book.......maybe.........

As we settled in it hit me. I didn't have any popcorn! Should I get some? What's the proper etiquette for popcorn at a kinky chick-flick? Would the lady next to be disturbed by my crunching in between spanks? Do I care? If this movie is as hot as people claim, the last thing these women will care about is my popcorn. I got a large.

As the movie got going, there was a smattering of nervous laughter at certain parts, quiet chattering about the "plot," and a steady of glow from cell phones texting. I noticed all this because the movie itself did not really hold my attention. Sure there were a few sex scenes, a few of which were hot, but it kind of reminded me of Sleepless in Seattle with nudity and handcuffs. It doesn't really matter because I was there for my wife, and she really enjoyed it. According to her, it was an accurate representation of the book and, listening to all the ladies talking outside the theater afterwards, she was right.

Maybe I can't follow a movie without an action scene or hero vs. bad guy situation. It could be that all men are programmed this way and despite my efforts, it just wasn't going to happen. I drifted away, not really paying attention until someone got spanked. I'm not trying to take away from the experience that these women are clearly enjoying, I'm simply saying that from a dudes perspective, a few fiery explosions would have been nice.

So what did I get out of all this? There are  a lot of women out there that find romance with a good dose of dirty thrown in, HOT! They ate it up and are already asking for more! The guys that "take one for the team" and go with their ladies will have no problem getting "rewarded" for their 2 hour sacrifice, and while it wasn't my cup of tea, the insight into what gets some women all hot and bothered was priceless!!! I learned that a good spanking is OK, but a hard spanking is too much, I learned that if your lady shows up with handcuffs, you'd better have a safe word ready, and I learned that popcorn doesn't go well with a chick-flick sex scene!

 

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