America, Rock-A-Holics and Q103 listeners. Earlier today on the Free Beer & Hot Wings Morning Show there was a brief discussion about Selfies. I have my reservations about selfies, primarily because it is always the same type of people polluting social media with pointless images that no one really cares about. That does not stop these people from forcing you to look at them doing whatever.


That is the point, it is always the same people, taking selfies of them doing the same thing and I think it should be stopped for America. Because if it is not stopped it will get worse and some day the Queen of England will show up and push you around because your to busy taking selfies. 


Americans need to stop with this selfie business, but these people will not listen to reason. They will however listen to selfies.... Although that is not physically possible. But I already told you that these people will not listen to reason. The only way we can fight selfies, is with selfies.



To help me start the Anti-Selfie movement, by taking selfies that will ruin selfies, rendering them uncool. So here is a list of Anti-Selfies to give you an idea how to help save America from.... itself.

The I'm Pooping Selfie.

No one wants to see this, and if they do there has to be a website devoted to it, that I am not a member of.

Booger Face Selfie.

Blow your nose all over your upper lip, then smile for your Booger Face Selfie.

Pink Eye Selfie.

This one is kind of like a game of tag. Get pink eye, take a selfie of yourself touching your pink eye. Then go take a group selfie, but make sure you touch everyone with your pink eye hand. They will not notice your pink eye as long as you say nothing but "group selfie" then after the selfie is taken, break the news to them.

The Bill Cosby Selfie.

Actually don't do this one.

Wake Selfie.

Take a selfie of yourself next to the corpse at a wake. Then try to take a selfie as your running away from an angry mob of people.

The "Your Dog Is Sniffing My Crotch." Selfie.

Take this one while someone's dog is sniffing your crotch then post it on their Facebook wall and show everyone that their dog is a pervert.

Your Mom Selfie.

Take a Selfie with someone's Mom without telling them, then tag the person when you post the picture of you and their Mom on social media.

Senior Citizen Selfie.

Go to a retirement home or nursing home or pay a visit to Grandma, Grandpa, your Aunt or Uncle. Let them go Selfie crazy! That way these self centered selfie people will remember that Senior Citizens exist. It will also make selfies seem a little less hip. That is not in regards to my opinion though, if you ask me there is nothing cooler then a Granny Selfie.

Spoiler Selfie. 

Take a selfie in front of the surprise ending of a movie or a TV show that you know someone else is DVRing. Then text it to the person, or post it on there wall.

Your Fired Selfie.

If your the boss take a selfie of yourself firing someone, like a boss or take a selfie of someone getting fired then send it to them, or post it on their wall.

DANGER Selfie.

Stage a selfie taken just before a accident; in front of a moving car, falling off a ladder, slipping in the shower. Show people the danger of selfies.

The goal of a anti-selfie is to ruin selfies, if any one of these became trendy you would see it on the news. Not just the local news, I am talking CNN, Nancy Grace will yell about it and FOX will blame Obama.

Selfies will become a thing of the past and will stop Americans from making themselves look like a bunch of apathetic, mindless, narcissists.

Those are 10 ideas for anti-selfies. If you can think of more let me know, but lets keep it tasteful.

For America.