Happy 4th of July, here are some tips that you did not ask for to enhance your American holiday experience:

  • Eat a Cheese Burger.
  • Eat a Hot Dog and make sure that you put ketchup on it because ketchup is on the Hot Dog in my name.
  • Slip and Slide.
  • Register to Vote.
  • Eat cereal and watch cartoons all morning.
  • Write things on Post-it notes in Crayola Crayons.
  • Eat only Hershey’s Chocolate, tell people eating foreign chocolate that their chocolate taste like dust.
  • Listen to The Generation X Files on iTunes or Google Play Music.
  • Listen to Q103 all day.
  • Listen to ALT 105.7 all day.
  • Boycott Tea and if you catch anyone drinking tea dump it out on them, not on them though.
  • Declare your Independence from someone or something, why isn’t that a thing but everyone always has a New Years Resolution?
  • Don’t talk about politics.
  • Play Football and laugh at people playing Soccer.
  • Fireworks of course, it would not be the 4th of July unless you blow something up but make sure you don’t blow off your fingers or shoot your eye out.
  • Drink Beer.
  • Noodle Salad.

Happy 4th of July, be safe.