Today Roger Goodell; Commissioner of the NFL turns 56. I can not figure out what to get him for his birthday and I can not help but wonder, what kind of birthday bash the boys who will be boys, will throw him. No pun intended. 


Brian Williams and I will be there, so will Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, they got Roger some balls he has been looking for. Don't tell Roger though its supposed to be a surprise.

Marshawn Lynch will be there, just because he does not want to get fined.

Russell Wilson is going to be there, because he loves giving things away.

Adrian Peterson will be there, he is going to bring his kids.

Ray Rice is expected to be there as well, with his wife. So they had to make sure that the party is in a building with no elevators.

Ben Roethlisberger will be there with his wife, but he is still not allowed anywhere near other people's drinks.

Jerry Jones is going to show up in his party bus. Jerry is going to invite Roger aboard after the party, because it's his birthday and what happens on Jerry's party bus, stays on Jerry's party bus. Until his team is down by two scores in the second half of their playoff game, then it is time to call in favors.

Michael Vick got Roger a puppy. But it is the same thing that Vick got him last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the...... Where is Vick getting all these dogs?

The 49ers plan on giving Roger; Colin Kaepernick, because no one else wants him.

Aaron Rogers was going to try to make the party, but he could not find a driver. Rogers would drive himself if his feet could reach the pedals.

That is all that Brian Williams would tell me about the party, because we ran out of time. Hope to see you there, I plan on getting him a little whistle; So that his conscious will always be there when he needs it, but I don't think that he will use it, because it will probably tell him to resign. I really hope we don't get Roger the same thing. That would be embarrassing.




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