Pregnancy Problems & Solutions By A Man

Free Beer just announced that his wife is pregnant with twin boys! Congratulations to Free Beer. His wife however is going to be carrying the twins for another 9 months and she already has a bit of the pregnancy insomnia. There was also talk of some disappointment, because they wanted one of the twins to be a girl. As an American I do not like to pretend that I know everything and instigate debates and make myself look like a jerk, oh wait! I totally do! So here are some Pregnancy Problems and Solutions By A Man.

Problem: Morning Sickness. Solution: Bucket.

Problem: Frequent Urination. Solution: Bucket.

Problem: Gas & Bloating, Swelling & Cramps. Solution: Air Freshener, Tell them they look pretty.

Problem: Hemorrhoids. Solution: Apply your own ointment.

Problem: Any type of discharge. Solution: Paper Towels & Bucket.

Problem: Insomnia. Solution: Netflix.

Problem: Depression. Solution: Stop watching "The View."

Problem: Backache. Solution: Chair.

Problem: Constipation. Solution: Prunes, Orange Juice, Apple Juice, Buffalo Style Chicken, Taco Bell, Bucket.

Problem: Sore Breasts or Nipples. Solution: Well that's no fun.

Problem: Heartburn. Solution: Tums. ( It is important to sing the song "Tum, Tum, Tum, Tum, TUUUMMMMMM!!!!"

Problem: Yeast Infection. Solution: Ask "What would Batman do?"

Of Course I encourage you to add your own Problems & Solutions, that is all I can think of for now.