I tried to make Halloween fun, blogging about costumes, haunted houses and Halloween themed movies, and no one seemed to care, but I keep seeing all of these other articles and blogs about Halloween.

I see status updates, and cute little videos, but I spend all morning on a perfectly good Halloween post and no one cares, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!

HALLOWEEN IS BAD FOR YOU!

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    Halloween Candy is Bad for You!

    Candy corn, candy bars, it's all sugar, that will rot your teeth and make you gain weight. Halloween candy makes Americans overweight and gives them ugly smiles.

    You should be eating dehydrated fruit and raw vegetables.

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    Halloween Costumes are Bad for You!

    Halloween Costumes are bad for you!

    No one will know who you are and someone can mistaken you for someone else.

    Take this dog for example.

    I thought he was the real Superman.

    I said "Superman! Superman! I need your help, I accused my cat of cheating at chess, so he climbed up a tree and he won't come down."

    And all Superman said was "Ruff! Ruff!"

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    Trick-or-treating is Bad for You!

    Trick-or-treating is bad for you!

    Someone can put a shark in your candy bar, and you never know who is going to open the door, what if they don't have candy for you?

    What if it's a shark?

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    Halloween Parties are Bad for You!

    Halloween parties are bad for you!

    If you want to have a party with vampires, witches, zombies, werewolves and monsters. Who are probably drunk of high on the Marijuana, then you will pay with your life.

    Don't take it from me, take it from the experts.

    This video is NSFW because of the shocking truth about Halloween parties.

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    Halloween Decorations are Bad for You!

    What if the bats, spiders, and zombies can't tell the difference between a decoration and the real thing?

    What if you can't tell the difference?

    One second you think that you're rearranging the fake bat, the next second you have rabies.

     

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    In conclusion

    Halloween is bad for you.

    I'm glad that they put out all the Christmas stuff early.

    Ho! Ho! Ho!

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    And now a word from me... again...

    NSFW

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