I see a lot of articles, blogs, pictures, and videos that are meant to ruin my childhood. Fortunately, my childhood is invincible and cannot be tainted by people on the internet who think they are clever.

This does not ruin my childhood because I love "Porn Parodies". I don't watch them though, because I was raised Catholic, but I love the idea that someone out there thought that I may like to see my childhood heroes having sex. In this case, I think that I speak for all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fans by saying: Finally, the turtles are going to get some.

This does not ruin my childhood because I don't care about real chipmunks. I'm glad that their teeth eventually grow to the top of their mouth and through their head.

I do care about Chip, Dale, Monterey Jack, Zipper, and Gadget -- sexy, sexy Gadget.

What the folks at the Scientifically Accurate Studios, or wherever they make these silly videos, fail to acknowledge is that all the people who watched the shows that they claim to "ruin" know that they are cartoons based on fictional characters.

I find these videos to be lazy, because they don't think outside the box when it comes to attempting to ruin my childhood. All they had to do was Google 'chipmunk' and make a poorly animated video based on their research.

In conclusion: I have the power of Grey Skull and I know, because knowing is half the battle! You're not going to get my "Number 1 lucky dime" because sometimes, some crimes go slipping through the cracks, but these two gumshoes are picking up the slack! I am the terror that flaps in the night, so watcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you!?