Good News: I hope you all enjoy your Breakfast Buffet…
Bad News: I also hope that it's a terrible Breakfast Buffet.
When Free Beer & Hot Wings come back to Albany on November 3rd... when I am sitting here behind the board with my coffee, starving, thinking about the Breakfast Buffet and how much I love Breakfast food, I will be hoping that everything goes wrong.
I hope that the eggs are runny and tasteless and that all of the toast is burnt but cold so that the butter doesn't melt, so that when you eat it it taste like cold butter and burnt toast.
I hope that the muffins are stale and that someone will start complaining that there are no biscuits.
I hope that the bagels have mold on them and that the only cream cheese that they have is light.
I hope that the coffee taste like worms and that someone brings their own tea, so that everyone is going to want that persons tea, and not the tea that the restaurant is serving because then it will be awkward when the servers have to explain it to people.
I hope that the only Orange Juice they have has extra pulp and that they only serve Turkey Bacon from a microwave, I hope that the sausage is undercooked so that it just sits there and everyone just stares at all the slightly raw sausage in the room.
I hope that the Hash Browns are burnt on the outside and cold on the inside. I hope that they serve gluten free pancakes and that someone pulls up too early on the maple syrup, so that it gets all over the bottle so that everyone who uses it gets sticky hands and they try to wipe it off but just end up getting napkins and stuff stuck to their hands.
I hope that they run out of waffles.
I hope that they make too much Corned Beef Hash and it stinks up the place.
I hope that someone drinks too much and eats too much and they vomit in front of the bathrooms.
I hope that the only food with nothing wrong with it is Oatmeal and dry Cereal but that they run out of milk.
Some day I will make it back to the Turning Stone for their awesome Breakfast Buffet and my wife won't throw up because she is nervous, why was she nervous? why did she throw up in a garbage can in front of everyone?
Because thats my life, having to abandon what I love because my wife is throwing it up in front of a crowd of people who will get to enjoy what I no longer can....
I'm going to cry now.