Sometimes I find myself shopping for things a man of my age should not be. I don't feel old and I certainly still watch cartoons, but these crows feet often remind me that I should rethink my wardrobe. I bought this jacket the other day and now I'm not certain I am "hip" enough to wear it. The two-tone chest and sleeves make it look like something from the original planet of the apes and the small color says "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" or every '80s future movie ever."

Is this jacket too hip for me or am I ready for the future? Does wearing this jacket next to Flounder make him cooler by proxy? Are people going to think I own all of Kanye West's albums if they see me in this?

Or could I be wrong and could this jacket just be the sexiest thing I have ever put on and once the Internet sees it they are going to crown me as their king? Yes, the Internet is now people in this theory.

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