I haven't always been the lingerie type. And when I do wear lingerie, I'm picky about what kind. I have a couple fancy nightgowns, and I've got a thing for corsets, but I don't have a single matching bra and panties set. In fact, before I met M, the only piece of actual lingerie I owned was a pair of satin panties with the ass ripped out. My ex bought them for me thinking they were the same as crotchless panties.

They are not the same thing. Panties with the ass ripped out are made for a whole different type of sexin', though both orifices are accessible from the hole. And to be honest, he wore them more than I did, which I never really understood because as far as I know he's straight, and I'm not really into that sort of thing.

Don't get me wrong. I like a cute pair of panties and a sexy bra as much as the next gal. I don't want to take my clothes off in front of a stranger if I'm sporting a Cross Your Heart bra and a pair of white granny panties because it's really not attractive. What better way to avoid that than to buy things I find sexy or too adorable not to own? But to actively seek out and buy something that costs as much as an entire outfit with about a tenth of the material that I'll probably only wear once or twice for five minutes a piece in the bedroom? Yeah, that's not my style. In short, I'm a miser.

Since I met M, and started spending my time talking to and reading the blogs of other sexpots like me, I've found myself open to so many other possibilities. Who knew you didn't only have to wear lingerie in the bedroom?

Wait. You didn't know you don't have to only wear lingerie in the bedroom? Dude. You're missing out.

Ages ago, when I had oodles of Monopoly money (read: money you can't spend in the real world, but can be spent at a particular place–in this case, a sex toy store) to play with, I figured, “What the hell?” and bought a couple corsets, a few costumes, and a really pretty, mostly see-through nightgown. I mean, why not? It's not like I was spending real money on these things I probably would never wear, right? And since I spend most of my time at home naked (it's just M and me living here), maybe leaving a bit to the imagination would be even hotter!

It was, but that's another tale for another time.

You know what sucks about lingerie? None of it is sized the same. Hell, some companies don't even follow their own standards! Case in point, during that shopping spree I mentioned, I bought two corsets made by the same company that were the same size. One fit and the other was too small. SO FRUSTRATING!

So, some things to do when buying lingerie for yourself or for your partner:

1 – Take measurements. Twice. Maybe even three times. If you're wanting to surprise your partner, make up some other reason, like form fitting t-shirts from your favorite bar, or something. Just make sure you follow through or they'll catch on before you get the gift home.

2 – Read reviews. Especially if you're shopping online and you've never shopped with the company before. Usually, from an online review, you can find out what the material feels like, if the sizes run large or small, what kind of body type is most flattered by the piece you're looking at. These things are important. Some lace is really scratchy and annoying, and no one's going to wear something they think looks bad on them.

3 – Check the size charts. There's really nothing more depressing than buying a piece of lingerie and finding out it's too small. I mean, I realize that's the company's failing, but some of us girls automatically assume it means we've gained weight. We're funny that way.

4 – If you're shopping in a store, TOUCH the fabric. Everywhere, but especially around the thighs if it's panties, under and over the arms, and around the breasts. Make sure it's soft and smooth, and won't cause itchiness. I once had a bra that left scratches all over my boobs because the lace was that rough. That's no good.

5 – Don't push. You bought it for us. We know you want to see us in it. But the more you push us to put it on and prance around like some kind of trick pony, the less we're going to want to wear it. We'll get around to it. Some day. And you'll love it when we do.