Candy is not getting any healthier, if your kids don't eat candy then they will stay healthy, adults with kids don't need to be that healthy, so eat your kids Halloween candy and you will be doing a good deed.


Don't just blatantly eat their candy, unless you are some kind of a jerk and in that case you should blatantly eat your kids candy just to keep up with consistencies, you don't want to set a bad example. If you're not a jerk and you still want to eat your kids candy that they got for free then here are some tips.

How to shamelessly steal your kids Halloween candy:

  • Tell them that you thought they did not like that kind of candy.
  • Tell them that you are making sure that there are no drugs in their candy.
  • Wait until they are asleep, leave them a dollar underneath their pillow, blame the Tooth Fairy.
  • Eat their candy in front of them as punishment if they are bad.
  • Blame your husband.
  • Blame your wife.
  • Tell them that you are going to send their candy to Santa to make sure they get on the nice list.
  • Ask them if they want to see how a cavity is made.
  • Charge them for storage.
  • Wear their Halloween costume and insist that it's your turn.
  • Tell them that you have to eat all of the chocolate so that the dog/cat does not eat it.
  • Insist that you could hear it melting and that you did not want it to go to waste.
  • Tell them that ghosts told you to do it.
  • Do their homework for them in exchange for candy, or just tell them that you are going to do it and when you don't tell them "How do you like it?"
  • Just wait until they are not looking.
  • Tell them that you never had that kind of candy before and that you want to try it.