There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spice things up in the bedroom and get your freak on. However, when you start adding the element of defenseless little gummy bears, things are bound to go horribly wrong.

A couple featured on the TLC show “Sex Sent Me To The E.R.” learned that bears are not only dangerous in the woods, but also in the sack. The idea of combining delicious candy with adult fun time sounds like a great idea on paper but as these two learned quickly there’s a reason no one ever is “getting it on” during a Food Network sugar sculpture challenge. These freaky idiots thought it was a good idea to take a giant melted gummy bear and pour it all over each other. The only issue is sugar is a lot like delicious lava at the liquid temperatures.

You would never have to warn me about the dangers of gummy bears in the bedroom. The candy has the word “bear” right in the name and that is enough warning for me. I know bears are evil and out to harm humans and I’m no fool. Bears will try and attack from all angles, even in the form of candy. Also humans and bears should never mix. I say keep the freaky kinky stuff to strictly human-on-human and gummy bear-on-gummy bear action.

This is the kind of stuff I am talking about.