Americans are obsessed with vacation.

We have vacation days with vacation pay, Christmas vacation, winter break, spring break and summer vacation. We have an entire industry dedicated to vacation. That is why I checked out Trip Advisor, to see what they say are the top things to do in Albany.


Who goes on vacation in Albany? Lake George and Saratoga I understand, with maybe a day trip to Albany. Seriously, who goes on vacation in Albany?

But in case you were planning an Albany getaway, here is a list of things to do, and a video of my take on vacations in America.


  • 1

    New York State Museum

    I like going to the museum. My senior year in high school I had a friend who worked in the creepy tunnel by the museum. I would skip gym to go with him. He would go to work and I would hang out in the museum. One time I fall asleep in the long house of the Native American exhibit and a group of kids on a field trip found me. They thought I was a part of the exhibit until I woke up. We were all surprised.

  • 2

    New York State Capitol

    It's haunted, but they only run tours to see the haunted parts in October. I asked Flounder if when Maureen Hancock comes to town, will she go and talk to the spirits in the Capitol. He told me that she will not because the spirits come to her. I thought that was cheating because I used to go to the spirits. I don't think that they are going to let me anywhere near Maureen Hancock when she is here.

  • 3

    USS Slater

    When I was a kid, I thought that the USS Slater was there to keep everyone from across the river from invading Albany. Then I thought that it was Christian Slater's boat. It's a cool tourist attraction. All Salem, MA, has is a stupid pirate ship. Our Cannon-class destroyer escort would whoop Salem's silly pirate ship.

  • 4

    The Egg

    Does anyone else find irony in the fact that people go into a giant egg to be entertained?

  • 5

    Shaker Heritage Society

    This one time, me and a friend of mine gave some random guy a ride. We met him at a gas station. He said that he was a journalist covering something going on at the Capitol and that he went out drinking and didn't know his way back to his hotel. As we were driving him to where he thought his hotel was, we were talking to him about the Shakers. What began as a innocent conversation went terribly wrong when my friend and I started talking about how the Shakers did not have sex. We asked the man what he knew about it and he jumped out of the car at a red light.

  • 6

    Duck Tours

    Why not?

  • 7

    Crossgates Mall

    Although the mall is getting some cool new restaurants, for some reason I think tourists will still be disappointed. Or maybe I am just bitter because you cannot smoke cigarettes anywhere on the premises.

  • 8

    Albany Visitors Center

    Because that is what it is for.

  • 9

    Wherever Dan America is Doing Stand-Up Comedy

    You're welcome.