I am not completely qualified to determine where the worst public bathroom in the Capital Region is because I am afraid of them so I only go into the ones that I know but I still refuse to go number 2 because there is no place like home.

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The worst public bathroom or restroom I have ever used was the one at Valentines but it does not exist anymore, the second was the bathroom at Saratoga Winners but it was not the worst because there was something magical about that bathroom, no matter how many people were there, the bathroom always smelt like an elephant just peed in it.

Because I am so sensitive about using public toilets I can't say who has the worst because I have not and will not experience them, I know what makes a good public bathroom: Locks that work, clean floors and clean seats and that is all I ever ask for.

Even if a public bathroom meets my requirements I will not use them for number 2, I can explain and my explanation may change the way you go number 2 too: No matter how much you wipe, no matter how skillful you may think you are, there will always be leftovers and if you go in a public bathroom, those leftovers will stay in your fridge for the rest of the day. I need a shower after I go number 2 or I go crazy because I can't get it out of my head and I start to convince myself that I can feel it, like there is a little lumpy goblin in the back of my pants laughing at me as he ruins my underwear and crosses hairs.

That's enough about me and my pants, so now I look to you the readers to tell me where the worst public restroom in the Capital Region is, or anywhere really, but please no pictures....... ok, pictures, but only if it is a mess so big that it's amazing.

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